Don't let me go

I am afraid. I'm afraid that one day I'll have the courage to let go of everything and... just go. I am trying my best, not to let go of myself. To hold on to everyone that believes in me. To hold on to the hope that everyone have in me.

I'm afraid that one day, I'll disappoint everyone. More so, I am afraid that I won't have any chances to redeem myself.

If someone is reading this, if someone will ever read this, please know that I am doing my best to fight, to hold on, to cling to that hope that everything will pass and will be better, that I will get better, that everything that's messed up inside me will come to pass and be an experience that will help me move forward. Please know that I am still fighting and if ever, if there comes a time that I did let go of everything, please don't be disappointed in me that much because I really did my best. I really am doing my best. I am doing my best to live even if all I really wanted was to drown in the sea of silence. Even if every mornings, I want to suffocate and just stay still.

Please know that when I let go, it's because I am tired, really really tired and I want to rest. If that day comes, I'm sorry. I am really sorry. It's not anyone's fault. It's not yours nor mine.

It's just how it is.